


old roasts and coffee shop blues

by waterpots



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Maybe - Freeform, ghosting above emotions, i'm not good w tags ig hurt comfort, it's all i'm good at, it's got this very, not really - Freeform, the summary sounds a bit Serious it's not rly that bad, understated vibe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 14:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterpots/pseuds/waterpots
Summary: jihyo escapes to a cafe to get away from a living situation she can't stand watching





	old roasts and coffee shop blues

**Author's Note:**

> ((what is below in the beginning note is pure drunk nonsense. the fic was written while sober. the concluding note is also written while sober))
> 
> hi!!! i write for oh my girl, mostly, but here i am. i don't have much to say. i read shakespeare while i'm waiting to clock into work. i'm a littel drunk right now. i gotta be real, have a happy week. i'm really best at writing understated emotions more than anything. i hope you enjoy, in some way shape or form. i'm drunk right now. haha. ok. love you :-) i'm @snowsets on twitter....please be my friend i don't tweet too much there but i want to meet more people or something. ok i gotta be done...gotta drink water and go to bed. if you drink remember to drink a glass of water for every glass of alcohol you have....getting dehydrated while drunk is no joke :-) okie !
> 
> oh you guys should eat at sweet cheeks ? i think it's called. in boston if you ever get the chance. i went with my friend scarf it was a delightful experience its barbeque. the chicken was really good. i never order chicken just bc i'm meh abt it but every time i have good chicken.....wow. it's by the mfa and fenway park. idk. anyway :-) okay for realzies! (sry i'm drunk)

Jihyo's sitting across from a girl playing a Nintendo Switch in a packed cafe, drinking coffee and pretending not to cry. Pretending she doesn't hate coffee. At least the girl is so engrossed in her game that she doesn't pay Jihyo any mind.

She wonders how she looks to people walking in the cafe now. How the both of them look. Do they look like they're at this cafe together? Like this girl is playing her game while Jihyo has a mental breakdown? Probably seems like a weird breakup to whoever is watching. Jihyo hopes nobody else here people watches as much as her.

Jihyo tries going through the mental exercises Tzuyu talked about. Little things she said prevented her from ever losing her cool. Take deep breaths. Close your eyes. Focus on the room. Let thoughts come and then let them go. 

Her thoughts are a tornado, circling around one specific area. Jihyo gives up, because apparently Tzuyu is just a god of emotional control, or Jihyo's the worst at it. Maybe she can't control her emotions when it’s like this. Maybe part of the point of these things is honing in on them. Not dwelling but allowing yourself to feel fully until you've begun to move on. 

The coffee cup is lightly pushed out of Jihyo's hands, replaced by a Switch controller. She looks up. The girl has moved to sit adjacent to her, moving the screen so they can both see it. She offers Jihyo a small smile, a mix between hesitant and comforting. 

"Looks too weird?" Jihyo asks, trying to wipe her face so it looks less tearstained.

She shrugs. "Best comfort I can offer."

"I don't know how to play."

"You'll learn."

Jihyo does learn, somewhat. She learns how to make Pikachu jump and hit and even use a thunderbolt, but it isn't until the girl finally takes pity on her and puts them on a team together with computers that Jihyo actually wins a match. 

Jihyo doesn't forget, because even if she's not crying, her eyes are still that way they are when you just have, feeling just a tad salty, just a tad dry, and her mind is still circling around the same thought, the same problem. The same apartment to return to. It's not a tornado now, though. 

They play for a few hours, until the girl's phone buzzes and she jumps, reading the message and announcing she has to leave now "like immediately." Jihyo hands her back the controller as she quickly puts her stuff away. She looks like she wants to say something, but another buzz from her phone makes her offer Jihyo only a small wave before leaving the coffee shop. 

The coffee shop has quieted down now, something Jihyo hadn't noticed. But a few hours have passed. It makes sense, she supposes. Jihyo picks up her coffee cup, takes a sip. It’s cold by now, and worse than it was when it was hot. She grimaces and throws it out as she’s leaving. Takes another deep breath. Prepares.

* * *

Nayeon and Jeongyeon are almost exactly where Jihyo left them when she pretended to get a text from a classmate asking for study help. Lying on the couch together, Jeongyeon’s arm slung over Nayeon’s shoulder, watching a drama Nayeon picked out. Jeongyeon is still complaining about the romantic leads while Nayeon complains that she can’t  _ hear _ the romantic leads over Jeongyeon’s complaints, and the second the both of them look at Jihyo their eyes light up. They both think they’ve found their ally.

“He broke up with her because her brother picked her up from  _ work _ ,” Jeongyeon complains. 

“I wish I’d known,” Nayeon retorts. “I couldn’t hear that part over you complaining about whatever else he did wrong.”

“He strong armed her workplace out of her best friend! She didn’t want to see him. She barely knew him!”

“Sounds like a fun drama,” Jihyo says. “Are we ordering dinner?”

The guilty grins Nayeon and Jeongyeon send her way make Jihyo’s stomach twist in knots. “We were actually planning on having a date night tonight,” Jeongyeon says.

“Oh.” Jihyo, amazing actress she is, feigns nonchalance by taking this moment to really appreciate the small pile of letters on the breakfast bar. She’s been meaning to sift through them for junk mail for a while now, and it seems like a great time to do that.

“Sorry,” Nayeon says.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.” The smile she sends them is very convincing.

“I got a shift change at work, so we could do dinner together on Wednesday,” Jeongyeon says. “I can even cook for once.” Nayeon gasps. Mock surprise.

“I’ll see how my schedule looks and let you know,” Jihyo says. Nayeon beams and Jihyo ignores it in favor of the letters. “Oh shoot, I need to call my mom about this,” Jihyo says, walking towards her room holding a Bed Bath and Beyond mailer. “I’ll talk to you guys later.”

* * *

Things do not get easier, because things getting easier would mean they get easier, and things getting easier involves getting over things. Involves being able to stay in the apartment for more than ten minutes. Involves not feeling like she’ll cry every time Jeongyeon and Nayeon pretend everything is fine.

Everything  _ is _ fine, Jihyo has to remind herself. Everything was fine because this was the natural conclusion of things, always had been, and in a way she was comforted by the lack of ambiguity. By the small part of her brain that always held out hope being crushed under the thumb of the way Nayeon beamed at Jihyo when she got back from visiting her parents over break. It would have been crushed earlier if Jihyo hadn’t pushed off trips home, she realizes. It would have been crushed before it had bloomed into something painful.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon works, even if it seems like it doesn’t. Jihyo had always been the peacemaker, the moderator. She hadn’t been able to figure Nayeon or Jeongyeon out the way they had each other, or if she had, she didn’t have the same drive to push those buttons. She didn’t test them the way they did each other. Didn’t push those boundaries or wedge her way into their hearts the way Nayeon did. 

Jihyo was there for comfort. She was more like a warm, enveloping presence. There, but not overwhelming. Never more there than you needed, she supposed. That’s what she figured, at least, because she was nothing like Nayeon or Jeongyeon. She set herself up in the background. She supposes she only has herself to blame.

It still hurts, to see them being their own brand of affectionate. To know now that their playful banter is something along the spectrum of PDA in a way she had always assumed in the back of her head but never went out of her way to confirm, for obvious reasons. 

Jihyo tries, because they live together, the three of them, and she can’t make anything seem wrong. Especially not when Chaeyoung is fawning over their relationship, seeking every possible detail she can over what changed over winter break, and Tzuyu, despite her bored expression and the gagging noises she makes whenever Nayeon recounts something particularly cheesy, is as enraptured by the whole thing as Chaeyoung. 

“We got drunk,” Nayeon says. “And we were stumbling back to the apartment and all I could think about was how much I wanted to  _ kiss  _ her.” Tzuyu and Jeongyeon make gagging noises at the same time, then grin at each other. 

Jihyo pulls out her phone, unlocks it, and jumps up as nonchalantly as she can at the monotony of her home screen. A photo of the three of them during a beach trip over spring break.

“Are you going somewhere?” Chaeyoung asks. They hang out on Saturday, usually, because it’s the only day they all can.

“Study session,” Jihyo says. “I have an exam coming up.”

“What class?” Nayeon is perplexed. “The semester just started.”

Jihyo stares at her phone. “It’s uh,” she pauses. “Stats.”

“Applied probability?” Tzuyu asks. “I heard the exams for that are really hard.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Jihyo says. “Anyway, I have to go.” 

She probably leaves too fast, because it’s hard not to. Hard not to make it look inconspicuous. Jihyo doesn’t cry this time, on the way out. Her feet take her to the cafe automatically, because it’s not particularly close by and she knows for a fact none of her friends go there. It was somewhere she’d discovered at the end of last semester. She had planned to bring her friends, because she liked the ambiance of the place and the staff were friendly, albeit a little odd. 

Things changed, and the place is currently Jihyo’s safe haven, because the staff don’t pay her any mind when she sits in the corner for hours and only buys a single coffee, and sometimes they give her a brownie, just because. 

Jihyo brings her study materials, and actually tries to get to work. It works moderately, because she can distract herself, but only so much. These things, as a principle, only seem to work so much. Jihyo will get over it, to be certain, but it seems these things take more time than she’d care to admit. 

“Can I sit here?” Someone asks, already sliding into the seat across from Jihyo. She looks up, blinks to see the girl from when she was crying. 

“Yeah?” It comes out as a question. Jihyo looks around at the several tables that are still completely vacant.

“Sorry, I thought I saw someone I know, so I don’t want to look like I’m here alone,” the girl explains, pulling a book out of her bag. Jihyo nods, decides not to press. They sit in silence, each reading separately. 

“Are you feeling better?” The girl asks. Jihyo looks up in surprise, blinks, and the girl seems to catch herself. “Oh! Sorry, you, uh, you looked like-” 

“Like I was in here crying across from you a week ago?” The girl nods. “Yeah,” Jihyo shrugs. “I’m doing well enough.”

“That’s good.” They settle back into silence. After a few hours the girl’s phone buzzes, and she announces she has to leave. As if they were here together. Jihyo sticks around another thirty minutes before finally leaving. Everyone’s gone by the time she gets back.

Later that night, Jihyo gets a text from Tzuyu.  _ I didn’t see you in my applied probability class last week btw _ . Jihyo feels her blood run cold. Decides to push that off as long as possible. 

* * *

Jihyo spends a lot more time at the cafe, because the girl shows up there just as frequently. Jihyo doesn’t ask, because apparently all she ever does there is play video games, or read a book, or knit. It’s not really her place, given the lack of name. They sit together now, Jihyo isn’t sure why. Just a habit, because sometimes it’s too packed for them to get their own table, so it’s easy to just consolidate early. 

Jihyo tries to study when she can, because that’s a good use of her time, at least when she’s not bolting because Nayeon and Jeongyeon become too much. It’s getting easier to think of them as Nayeon and Jeongyeon, as a unit themselves that exists separate from Jihyo. The three of them are still one together, although she’s been distant, but separate is easier.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time out,” Jeongyeon remarks one day, watching Jihyo hurriedly pack her bag. The girl shows up at the cafe around three every day, so Jihyo wants to get there around three. For normal reasons.

“Busy semester,” Jihyo remarks. Jeongyeon fixes her with a look she can’t read, then shrugs and leaves her to it. 

* * *

“Why do you and your friend come separately every time,” the owner asks, fixing up Jihyo’s coffee order. 

“We don’t know each other,” Jihyo says, being honest. The owner gives her a weird look, but shrugs it off. 

“We’re doing a series of talks on extraterrestrial life in the coming months,” she tells Jihyo. 

“Aliens?”

“Actually it’s just space, but it’s going to be fun and everyone’s threatening to exclusively ask questions about aliens. So, if you have any genuine space questions, please come. It’s next Thursday at 8. Regular coffee will be half off and free refills.” Jihyo files that information in the back of her brain. 

* * *

“Jihyo!” Of course, because of course. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are taking up the other two seats at Jihyo’s table, carrying a coffee and pastry each. Jihyo scans her brain to remember the nearest cliff she can jump off.

“Thank god you’re here, huh? This place is packed,” Jeongyeon says. 

“You got lucky,” Jihyo replies with a grin.

“I can’t believe you came here without us. Nayeon and I have been talking about the Lone Bean Cafe for  _ months _ . This feels like betrayal.” 

“Weren’t you here studying with a classmate?” Nayeon asks. Jihyo, panicked, turns to look at the girl, who Jihyo realizes now she doesn’t know the name of, who is staring at the three of them with wide eyes, Switch nearly entirely forgotten.

“I’m Mina,” she says.

“We take a stats class together,”Jihyo says, and hopes she can remember enough from her stats class. Hopes she didn’t tell them what classes she was taking this semester. Jeongyeon nods like she buys it.

“Oh, nice to meet you. And you guys are, uh,” Nayeon eyes the Switch in Mina’s hands, because this is not studying. Jihyo knows for a fact the only thing in Mina’s backpack is her Switch, because she’s seen how light it is, seen Mina put the Switch into her bag and heard nothing else rustle around. Mina looks like a deer in headlights. She probably wasn’t planning to live out the intricate lie that Jihyo had planned entirely without her knowledge. Well, she wasn’t exactly involved in the lie. She was collateral. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Getting on my nerves is what she’s doing,” Jihyo lies, grinning at Mina to try and put her at ease. She doesn’t know if it’ll work, if her smiles will exactly do anything. “You were the one who said you needed help.

“We can start next week,” Mina says, tries. Jihyo rolls her eyes, and Nayeon seems content. Seems to buy it.

They talk, for the usual few hours Jihyo and Mina share space until Mina has to leave, and Jihyo falls into easy rapport with her two roommates. Mina is mostly silent, but her Switch is forgotten. She’s observing.

Mina’s phone buzzes at its usual time, and she offers Jihyo the same sheepish smile before standing up and packing her stuff away.

The walls are closing in. Jihyo makes a move. “I’ll walk you back,” she announces, startling Mina, who almost looks like she’s going to refuse. “Leave these two on their date. An act of kindness, since you crashed our study session.” Nayeon sticks her tongue out at Jihyo.

The leave together, and the cool air of early spring is refreshing.

“I’m sorry,” Jihyo says almost immediately. She feels bad about the whole thing. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It was out of her control.

“It’s okay,” Mina says, and Jihyo likes having a name to the face now. She could have asked, probably.

“They’re my roommates. I’ve been avoiding them. I didn’t think they’d show up.”

“Oh.”

“Ever since they started dating over winter break it’s just been, I don’t know, hard to be around.” Mina wrinkles her nose.

“Because you guys are all roommates?”

"It’s not really that,” Jihyo trails off. She’s not exactly thrilled about the idea of saying things out loud like this.  

"Do you just hate the idea of your friends dating?” Mina asks. It’s a little judgmental. It’s a little past a little judgmental, and Jihyo doesn’t like the idea of Mina having the wrong idea about her. Not when she’s seen how spectacularly bad Jihyo is at Mario Kart.

"I like them.” Jihyo says. It hangs in the air.

“Both of them,” Mina says. It’s not a question.

Jihyo lets out a long breath of air. “Yeah. Somehow.”

Mina pats Jihyo on the back. Something like a comforting gesture, Jihyo thinks.

“Sorry if you don’t feel comfortable with me walking you home,” Jihyo says.

“It’s okay. You could use some extra time out,” Mina says. “Plus, I’ve seen you cry, so I trust you.”

“Crying in cafes is how i get people to trust me before killing them in their apartment.” 

The silence lingers too long. They haven’t exactly joked much, Jihyo realizes. Maybe the timing wasn’t great. The delivery wasn’t either, she knows. Maybe she should joke less while emotionally volatile.

“That’s a problem,” Mina says, breaking the silence. “Because comforting crying girls in a cafe is how I get them back to my apartment before  _ I _ kill them.” Jihyo lets out a soft gasp.

“We’re both serial killers?”

“I can’t kill you now,” Mina says. “We’re in the same profession.”

“We should exchange trade secrets,” Jihyo says. Mina smiles.

* * *

Later that night, back at the apartment, Jihyo is fixing herself a cup of tea. It’s a blend she hasn’t tried before, but she heard an employee at the Lone Bean Cafe raving about it. She’s starting to trust their judgment a little too much. Once she was there when it was particularly dead and she watched them sword fight with pastry tongs. She’s not thrilled that she trusts them.

Jeongyeon meets her in the kitchen. She’s flipping through their junk mail to try and deal with it, trying not to leave it as a pile on the breakfast bar again. It never works, but it means something that she tries.

“Sorry I didn’t take you guys to the cafe before,” Jihyo says, although she should have just stayed silent. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jeongyeon grins. “Sorry we crashed your study session.”

“We weren’t getting much done, anyway.”

Jeongyeon laughs. Then pauses. “So, you and Mina,” she trails off. Jihyo gives her a curious look. “Nevermind. I hope you guys are studying well.” 

Jihyo doesn’t know what to read into that. She tries not to.

* * *

Mina grabs Jihyo by the arm, before she’s even reached the windows of the cafe. “We just came from a dance class,” she says quietly. “My name is Mina. I’m an Aries, I was born in '97, and I like Marvel movies.”

“Oh. Cap or Iron Man?” 

Mina fixes her with a look. “While that’s really exciting to know, we can discuss if your opinions are wrong another time. Three facts about you that don’t involve you crying.” Jihyo blinks at the jab. If it’s even a jab. She’s placed a lot of emotional investment in a girl she doesn’t know much about. A girl she’s only cried in front of. Mina only knows why she’s crying because Nayeon and Jeongyeon showed up, she realizes. 

“Uh, Jihyo, Aquarius, also born in ‘97, uh, I did marching band in high school?”

“What did you play?” They push through the front doors.

“Clarinet. I was drum major my senior year of high school.”

“Why would a clarinet player play the drums?” Jihyo almost balks at that, her inner high school band kid highly offended. 

“Mina’s here!” Someone announces, and Jihyo follows the voice to see three girls sitting at a round table. Mina smiles at them and pulls Jihyo along with her. Jihyo waves, does her best to not seem awkward.

“Why are you here?” Another girl asks.

“Class got out early,” Mina says. They pull up a fifth chair, and all sit down. After a collection of awkward introductions, Jihyo learns that these are Mina’s friends. Dahyun’s a music performance major a year below Jihyo, while Sana and Momo have both just graduated. Jeongyeon’s age. 

Jihyo also pieces together some interesting facts, like a Zumba class Mina’s supposedly been taking specifically while her and Mina would meet at the cafe. Jihyo stored that in the back of her head, and recognized that answering Dahyun’s question of “how’s Zumba for ya?” with a very confused “Okay?” was probably a strain on Mina’s lie. 

Momo and Sana have to leave for work shifts after a little while, and Dahyun leaves shortly after, announcing something that sounds like a lame excuse but Mina assures Jihyo is a very genuine chore that Dahyun has to complete. Jihyo watches them go, until it’s only her and Mina left at the table.

“We’re even now,” Mina says, after her friends have left.

“We absolutely are not,” Jihyo says. “I still haven’t seen you cry.” Mina smiles at her. “What was that about anyway?” 

"I go here so Sana doesn’t say I spend all my time at home," Mina says, grabbing her coat. “Told her I was taking a Zumba class, and that I’d sometimes meet a friend from it for coffee after.”

“Am I now that friend?”

“So it seems.”

* * *

It’s easier to be around Nayeon and Jeongyeon now. Jihyo still keeps going to the cafe, to keep up appearances, and because she actually likes talking to Mina, even if she doesn’t understand the weird games she plays on her Switch. Mina explains them, tries to let her play. Watches her dash around the small area on the map until a wolf kills her. Laughs and does it herself.

But Jihyo likes not feeling like her chest is constricting when Nayeon and Jeongyeon forget she’s there and do something affectionate. She likes being able to handle hanging out with them for more than a few hours without having to excuse herself. 

* * *

Jihyo and Mina trade phone numbers. They start texting more, because Mina jokes around better through text. She sees Dahyun and student recitals, and Dahyun beams at Jihyo. Jihyo waves back.

* * *

They meet at the “extraterrestrial” talk, because they both decided to go for some reason. Mina slides into the seat next to Jihyo, lightly punches Jihyo’s thigh with the bottom of her hand twice, to let her know she’s there.

“You part of the alien-truther brigade?” Jihyo asks.

“Front row,” Mina says, pointing to the mostly staff in the front. 

“I have questions on black holes.”

“Like what?” 

“The first one is just: what?” Mina laughs. The talk hasn’t started yet. “Why are you here?”

“Extra credit for an assignment.” Jihyo blinks. “I’m a physics major.” Jihyo blinks again. 

“So does that mean,” Jihyo trails off.

“Jeongyeon was my lab TA,” Mina confirms. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Jihyo enjoys the talk about aliens as best she can. Only one audience question is actually about aliens. Jihyo watches most of the staff chicken out before they can ask.

* * *

Jihyo invites Mina to hang out with her friends one weekend. Nayeon suggested it, and Jeongyeon egged her on. Mina agrees, and they all meet at a pizza shop, order more pizza than they can eat, and somehow manage to eat all of it. 

Tzuyu makes a joke about applied probability that makes Jihyo want to throw a pizza at her head, but Mina  _ has _ actually taken the class, and holds her own against Tzuyu. They get along well. Jihyo is happy.

* * *

“So what’s going on between you and Mina,” Nayeon asks one day, out of the blue.

“Nothing?” 

“It’s gotta be something,” Jeongyeon says. “She likes you.” 

“She doesn’t- I mean-”

“She’d be crazy not to,” Nayeon adds.

“True that,” Jeongyeon says, and barrels through the face Nayeon makes in response to that. “You’re a catch, Park Jihyo.” 

Jihyo feels her stomach do flips, but she wonders if it’s different. She’s not sure. It doesn't have the same ice-cold, lead undertone that comes from your best friends dating each other. 

* * *

 

Mina and Jihyo stay at Jihyo’s apartment, because Nayeon and Jeongyeon are going out on a date and the Lone Bean Cafe is closed for “mountaineering efforts only,” which means nothing to Jihyo. She’d prefer to keep it that way. 

“Be smart,” Jeongyeon says as her and Nayeon get ready to leave. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Jihyo rolls her eyes. “Don’t come home.”

“Aw, come on, don’t lump me in with her,” Nayeon complains. 

“Rude. But seriously,” Jeongyeon locks eyes with Mina. Jihyo wants to kick her. “We’re only gone for a little while. Be smart.” Jihyo wrinkles her nose. They leave.

“What does that mean?” Mina asks. “Why do I need to be smart?”

“Jeongyeon,” Jihyo sighs. Finds no point in lying. “Thinks you like me.”

“Oh.”

“It’s weird.” 

Mina shrugs. “It’s not too weird. It’s not like I’d do anything while you’re still getting over them.”

“What?”

“I mean,” Mina trails off. Jihyo sits up on the couch so she can look at Mina directly.

“Would you ask me out if I wasn’t getting over my crush on them?” Jihyo asks. 

Mina shrugs, grins at Jihyo. “Get over your crush on them and ask again.” 

Jihyo stores that information in the front of her brain, to think about while she pretends to be knitting.

**Author's Note:**

> so the lone bean cafe comes from an oh my girl fic i wrote ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347831 ) if you feel like. idk reading that. you don't have to at all! it's not important to the plot whatsoever, except to explain the space talks they're having but that explains nothing.
> 
> Anyway i'm @snowsets on twitter...i'm going to keep saying that. if you want to follow me. i want to make some new friends which is why i'm saying it lol. i hope you enjoyed! :-)


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